Hot Page 2

So it's Chinese New Year and I'm at the local Szechwan place, and the waiter plops down my  Beef & Black Bean Chow Fun - and stabs it right in the middle with a chopstick topped with the 3-D paper dragonhead cool thing on the right.  "I can make that!" I shriek, throw down money, grab a takeout carton and hightail it for home, where I crank up the kiln & give it my best shot (on the left), and eat cold Chow Fun at 11 pm (doesn't First Person Present sound like Sam Spade?).  It turned out pretty good, & next time it'll be better - this one's muzzle & beard are way too short.   Got potential! 

4.25 x 2.25 x 1.75"    This huge honker is touring in the Trajectories Exhibit!

I DID IT I DID IT WHOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO! Got the color & balance & proportion just right, muzzle lengthened, eyes facing forward, and tons of gratuitous decoration!  The prototype up above is #1, and this one is #5 - it took the 4 in the middle to evolve the design from 'that's pretty good' to 'OMG, did I do THAT?'   And boy, this critter is stinkin' hard to make - worse than the big Jesters.  I went berserk spinning the damthings like a maniac for 2 hours in the flame to keep em from dying, cracking, and blowing off bits n' pieces while I was adding the details.  The whole mess is decorated - the back has overlapping gold-orange 3-D scalloped scales, looks just absolutely stinkin cool!   Now all it needs is a name.....   The head is 2.5 x 2.25 x 1.75", and if you add on the dangle beard the whole thing gets to 4.25 x 2.25 x 1.75".  I was thinking about doing a couple of these as an exclusive limited series, like the Jester, but they're WAY too hard and an 80% attrition rate is just not fun.

SOOO.... I've modified the design - a little bit smaller, lighter, flat on the back so it hangs well as a pendant, and three danglies.  Easier to make, better survival rate.  EMAIL FOR A PICTURE!  Smaller version, $425, limited series

4.25 x 1.5 x 1.25"

The Midwest harbors a tall nutso babe who makes fiber dolls, Barb McLean.  I make heads for her, and she incorporates them into Whiz-Bang-Cool beaded dolls - go to the Jewelry page/Designers Gallery to see a whole bunch of her work, and her website info.  Barb started by making dolls using my small suns, and then she asked me to design Gremlin heads for a new series and she made em good! I don't sell the Gremlin heads to the public, just to Barb.  But once in awhile one looks at me in just the right way, and I keep the little stinker.  This one's in love, can't you tell from the eyes? It's  a 25-bead compound critter, hollow body for lightness,  Swarovski rondelles for glitter, purple flowers for girlfriend.  Hmmm... wonder what his girlfriend would look like? Would she wear a bikini?  Would she be a California Ghoul?  Would she be the Gargoyle of His Dreams?  Would somebody please stop me? 

$112      2.5 x 1 x 1"

Presenting the new Post-Apocalypse Pussy Cat - Standard Features include three eyes, three balls, and eighteen half-lives.  The additional eye will improve precision when Kitty is doing a Little Light Mousework, and the extra ballage (the Cat Ass Trophy Package) will provide additional spraying coverage. The Half-Lives speak for themselves.... tick tick tick ticktickticktickTICKTICKTICK!

3 x 2.25 x 1" 

including antennae

And he likes to dance - see?  Arms out ready to grab you for a fast JitterBug!  This is an Alien Mosquito with antennae and hands - the Next Step in Bug evolution (this kind of thing happens when I leave the beads alone in a dark drawer for awhile...)  This guy's arm/hand section is a separate unit, wired into the mosquito assemblage just above the body.  Like the antennae, the arms are threaded with seed beads and the hands are attached with a special adhesive, so you can fixit if a seed bead ever breaks... see below for info.   Cute little Son of a Bee, ain't it?

4 x 2.5 x 1.5"

height calculations include antennae (as they should!)

When this guy was a teenager did his parents go broke replacing tennis shoes?  Meet the Handsome Six Footer, with inset wire legs and the latest in Fashion Footwear!  Shoes come in red, black, and blue, and hands come in full wave (shown), the Travolta Finger Point (that one's called  'Stayin Alive', which seems appropriate) and the Rude Gesture (see the Piss-Ant, below).  These are big dimensional pieces, fun to wear!  Note: The legs are rigid wire, cased with color coated silver wire coils.  If you bend em, you could mess up the coils, so don't, please!   

A very nice focal bead!  The hole is horizontal, going thru the top of the bead at about the level of the bird's eye.  A lot of heavy silver melted into this, and a bunch of twisties squiggled and melted in make a nice rich background for the bird, which is slightly raised off the surface.  All it needs is a thin chain and a couple of black filler beads on each side, and it's wearable. And just because I can, a group shot...

$not yet      2 x 1.5"

I've been making this bead every six months or so for the last 8 years, and I've almost got it right...

This is a Green Goblin, commonly found deep in your fridge in the veggie bin industriously untwisting ties on bags of parsley, celery, and cucumbers so they'll get soft and mushy.  They do this because they don't have teeth (unlike the TupperWareWolf - more about that later).  This is special order only, as is, no mods, it'd be too hard.  The body's a reinforced hollow, makes it lighter.  It's big!

Save me... I already have 'If I were a bitch, man' cycling in my head, and it wouldn't take much to convert the entire song to Dog!   Let's talk bead - yet another Prototype With Potential,  but the doghouse is HEAVY.  I tried making it hollow, but no go.  Maybe it's destined to be the world's silliest Ceiling Fan Pull?  I take it to shows sometimes, and one of my customers really liked it - in fact, it took a Real Effort Of Will for her leave without it.  Will was her husband.  (sorry...)  

It occurred to me that a Piddler should have Piddle, and that the clever, resourceful and ohsotacky application of a bit of thin steel wire during the torching process could just maybe do the job.  So I tried it, and we're on our way!  I painted the Offending Liquid Stream with a nice yellow metal paint but it scraped off too easily, not good!  So now the piddle stream is augmented with little yellow triangular glass beads with a silver core that sparkle like the dickens (no pun intended)! 

And COMING SOON... as suggested by Mary Ann Williams (who thinks every piddler deserves a puddle to call its own), I'm going to crank up the glass fusing kiln and try to make a glass piddle puddle to attach to the end of the stream,  thus changing this design from a PrettyDamnSilly Bead to a... dare I say it?.... Small Important Piece Of Sculpture.  If it maxes out your Tacky Quotient, blame Mary Ann! 
NEW!  See Hot Page 3 for the AUTOMATED DOG WALKING SYSTEM.... the page isn't linked yet, but you'll find instructions down below that'll tell you how to sneak in for a look! 

.5 x 1 x .5"

But then you might get A Case of Chirpies. Well, what do you expect?  I could've called them Cheep Thrills, or Flight Risk, or  Birds of a Feather, or Flocked Wallpaper, but I *like* A Case Of Chirpies.  

I developed these to go into a bunch of necklaces with Big Smiley Flowers and dangly leaves, and they looked great there (see the Jewelry/Necklace page for a couple pics), and it occurred to me that they'd look pretty good in earrings, so I tried it and they did, and here they are!  

They're almost round, the wings are textured, and they are, of course, Anatomically Correct.  The hole goes vertical up thru the back, and they stack nice! The color doesn't breed true in this species, so you can expect an amazing variety of combos to appear in each generation...

size varies due to ear position - most are  1.25 x 2" or 2 x 1.25"

Start spreading the news, I'm Beading today, I want to make a bunch of them,  New Orc, New Orc!

I've been reading The Lord Of The Rings since I was 12, and I *know* what an Orc looks like, and it ain't what was in the movies!  So here's New Orcs - they're studded with air-bubble jewels, have very spiffy inset eyes, and the whole mess of em are smiling because I've fed them Elves.    Bye, Orlando...

1.5 x 2"        more or less...

These are the first in a new series, Elf-Portraits.  They were born when I was stuck in traffic in the Caldecott Tunnel, where many of my very best ideas germinate - always keep a pad & pen in your car!  I suspect there's going to be a lot of improv on this theme... right off the top of my head we've got Elf Help Books,  Elf Actualization, Elf Pity.  Elf Righteousness, Elf Regard, Elf Awareness, Elf Hypnosis, and Elf Aggrandizement (watch out, Santa!)   I used one of these heads for Mr. Green Genes above, turned out good!  I can do custom colors for the heads, but might have to exercise some Elf Control...

1.5 x 1.5 x .75"

Nice encased tabular beads with latticino twisties and a portrait of your favorite critter!  The holes are vertical, and these make great pendants, ceiling fan pulls, bellybutton plugs, zipper pulls, bracelet focals, but not keychain danglies.... sculptural beads aren't happy when they're tossed into bags & pockets & knocked around with keys. Have a sweet small child who has a dollhouse?  Mount one of these above the dollhouse fireplace for that politically incorrect touch that will inflame your animal-rights babysitter!  BWA HA HAhahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

1.5 x 1.25 x .75"

Ditto on all of the above.  Presenting either an ostrich or a very happy vulture, you choose!

1.25 x 1"

Info coming

___  x ____ "

Info coming